Hover hand: Don’t become another victim

from knowyourmeme.com:

 

About

Hover Hand is an awkward photo pose in which the subject wraps an arm around a companion with their hand hovering away from the companion’s body. Often spotted in casual group photographs, hover hands usually signify that the person feels uncomfortable or lacks the confidence required to make physical contact.

Most of us have know about the cringe inducing HOVER HAND for a few years now, here are a few awesome/horrible examples=

 

What started it all

It's good to be the king

Jelly?

Vacation Hover

It even crosses the racial divide!

 

Why do guys hover hand?

Because they are too scared to touch a girl!

 

But I learned something many years ago while watching TV late at night….. by myself….. when the GIRLS GONE WILD commercials played (besides the fact I could speed whack before it ended)

 

 

Chicks will actually do crazy shit that they normally wouldn’t do, if a camera is on them!

 

When I was first working on my PUA skills on the mean streets of Tempe, my wing and I came up with a plan. Each night one of us would carry the digital camera, remember this was before every cell phone had a decent camera and it took up a lot of room in your pockets. You can follow the same plan, just decide who is on camera duty with your cell phone each night.

Whoever had the camera was in charge of snapping a few good pics of the other guy when he noticed he was in a good set because

  • Pictures are a great reason for a guy to get close to a girl (when you are still in AFC land trying to justify getting close) and because it was your  wing’s idea, you felt safe doing. To kick up a notch he would say stuff like
  1. smile bigger
  2. you are too far apart, get closer
  3. give him a kiss
  4. both of you give him a kiss
  5. etc..

 

  • If it’s a good pic, very easy for you to offer to text it to her (makes sense to use YOUR phone for this, so a good wing would ask for it before) and now you have her number.

 

  • I had the mindset that I was going to get something out of each set I opened= value no matter what! So if the girls weren’t digging me I at least got some practice, or a solid pic that I could use online. (this one is really useful for the guys who always complain in my Online Game 2.0 program that they don’t have any pictures, who aren’t yet at a level where they can get cool DHV pics easily. Just don’t put up a picture like the guys above)

 

  • It gives you an opportunity to initiate or escalate KINO – which the basic rule on KINO is as much as you can, as fast as you can, WITHOUT creeping her out. Maybe you have been doing a little touchy feely, a camera comes out and as the picture gets taken you pull her in for the kiss…and things escalate quickly from there- I know for a fact this works.

 

  • To everyone else around in the venue, posing for cool/fun pics with people, gives the impression that you are friends with them. (I cover this more in my personal coaching and have been working on a blog post about this, but you want to look from 3 different perspectives- yours, her’s, and everyone else’s). You being the center of attention for one group makes it easier to initiate conversations with others.

 

No one likes a crappy picture, so by HOVER HANDING you are actually ruining the picture, and non-verbally conveying that you are a giant pussy.

So don’t

 

Instead, be like these guys at a Special Needs athletic eventSpecial OlympicsLike a BOSS

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It was either sink or swim and I wanted to fly

I always had a feeling in my past relationships, that I better do anything and everything I could to hold on tight. If things ended I would be alone again and that would last until I got “lucky enough” to get another girlfriend.

Years later I think because I didn’t have a stable family growing up, I was always searching for a girl to be my rock. Someone who would always be there for me and have my back. My parents divorced when I was young, my mom got married a few times after my dad, and one of the guys was pretty bad (drugs, abusive, and all I want to make public)

Now that my marriage was over, my house gone, feeling like damaged goods, almost no one in my life, and just being stood up on New Year’s Eve, I came to a realization

It was either sink or swim and I wanted to fly.

Even though I ended up finding a cool place to live, I didn’t just want to swim, which to me meant just keeping me head high enough from drowning, I wanted more.

I wasn’t happy with who I was and who I had become.

What I had been doing in my life didn’t lead me to happiness or given me the results I wanted.

So I decided that I needed to start working on the areas and aspects of my life that I had been avoiding. I began to exercise and eat healthier I also changed my look.

  • No fast food -and if I did falter I would just grab a burrito, not the 2-3 meals worth I normally got
  • Muscle milk or Dymatize protein shakes -chocolate with a scoop of peanut butter is pretty tasty!
  • Kettlebell -a cannonball with a handle, it was now being used religiously
  • Clothes shopping -something I use to hate, now I would go every few weeks and add 1-2 items
  • Hair -I dressed up in my cool clothes and went to a high end saloon and said “make it cool”

In a pretty short time frame I went from looking and dressing sloppy, to feeling 100 times healthier and dressing a thousand times cooler.  The confidence I gained from that was sinking in, but I needed to do more. If not all it would take is my clothes and hair to go out of style and me getting fat to loose the ground I had gained.

-next time, how I began working on what I would learn to call my “inner game” AND an update from the chick who stood me up!

Hitting rock bottom

Standing on the balcony of my apartment in Phoenix, awesome view of not 1 but 3 different fireworks shows on this New Years Eve, a glass of Makers Mark whiskey in my hand and I was seconds away from hitting rock bottom.

My wife had told me she wanted a divorce months ago after our miscarriage, I wanted to try and make things work but it wasn’t possible. We had to sell our brand new house and I even helped her move her stuff into storage. We both were looking for new places to live, she lucked out and found a big townhouse, I couldn’t find anything and got an apartment. I think it was a week and she was already dating a guy, and from a few pictures I saw on MySpace and what I heard thru the grapevine, she was looking better than ever and living life to it’s fullest.

I still hadn’t come out of my downward spiral. Sitting on my couch watching DS9, eating fast food everyday. Life was pretty shitty for me, but I still had a little further down to go.

After being tired of being alone for almost a year, I got on a few online dating sites, but had no clue what to do, apparently it is a BAD idea to tell girls within the first few minutes of talking to them that I am 25 and divorced.

I somehow got lucky and had this cute little 20 year old Hispanic chick emailing me back and she even sent me a few sexy pics showing off her giant rack! All I kept thinking was if I was able to get this chick to be my new girlfriend everything would be fine. So I started making plans for us to hang out.

I had the foolproof idea that she should come over to my place for New Years for our first date. It would be so romantic, we could watch the fireworks, eat some food, and if she snuck a few sips of booze when I wasn’t looking no big deal, it might help me get some. 😀

I went to the store and stocked up on supplies, food, snacks, and chick friendly drinks. Spending money I didn’t have but fuck it, I might get laid so it was worth it.

8pm rolls around and she wasn’t there yet. We text a bit and she tells me she is running late, no biggie we got all night…

11pm rolls around and now she is no longer responding to my texts…

12:00am and I am standing outside on my balcony, alone just as the fireworks start to light up the desert sky.

I have now been stood up for the first time in my life and it was on fucking New Year’s Eve.

As I sat alone on my balcony. All I could think about was all the people out having the time of their life. My X who was in the arms of a new guy having her New Year’s Eve kiss. The chick who blew me off probably to go and hang with her friends.

I was alone….and not by choice. No friends, no girl, and was barely talking to my family.

I took a swig of my whiskey and thought to myself, this will never happen again. Whatever it takes, whatever I have to do, by this time next year my life will be awesome.

-I started and stopped writing this post for weeks. Part 2 will be how I started to change

Learn why The Fonz got laid

Always knew The Fonz was a PUA!

Good rule of thumb, when not sure what your next move should be with a girl, is it something Richie Cunningham would do? (an AFC)

Keep calling her

Keep texting her

Make the first date a giant event

Send flowers to her work after the 1st date

Tell her you don’t want to have sex, but just cuddle with her

Not eat her out because it is YUCKY

Loan her money

Babysit her kid while she goes out with another guy

Something The Fonz would do=

doesn’t care if he never hears back from a chick, he has 5 more on the hook

hanging out with him IS the giant event on the date

lives above a garage with someone ELSE’s parents and still gets chicks

doesn’t have to drop $ to impress a chick

(this is line of thinking is what originated WWBD)

Some of this sounds like common sense, but common sense isn’t so common…

7 fashion tips every AFC should follow

(Actually these are tips that EVERY guy should take to heart)

Before I got married, I was pretty successful with women…but after my divorce I felt like I had lost all my Mojo. It was like I broke my back and had to learn to walk again. Then I read, THE GAME, and my life was changed forever. I felt like a secret had just been shared with me, and I was willing to do whatever it took to transform my life.

One of the biggest sticking points I was going to undertake was rebuilding my identity, specifically my look/style.This was perhaps the toughest part of my journey. I definitely had a look…the problem was that it wasn’t a look that women responding to positively. The shirts I owned that I considered “cool” at the time were purchased years ago, some dating as far back as high school! Here are 7 tips that I used to rebuild my look, which helped boost my confidence to go out and start sarging.

BRAVO’S FASHION TIP #1:

Fashion and style are always evolving and changing. If you haven’t changed or upgraded some parts of your wardrobe over the last couple of years, chances are you could use a trip to the clothing store for new shoes, shirts and jeans. I think back to high school when I hated clothes shopping with a passion. It was because I was doing it all wrong. Normally I would go out and spend the whole day trying on stuff and dropping a ton of money; not any more…

BRAVO’S FASHION TIP #2:

Look around every few weeks for something cool and new. It’s much easier to run in and try on 2-3 shirts or a pair of jeans, and still have the rest of the day to do other things. This also ensures that you constantly have new items working their way into your wardrobe so you don’t wear the same 3 shirts each weekend. During my fashion-troubled days, I was heavily into doing the tactical training stuff. My image remained static and unchanging. I always had the same look which included short hair, combat boots, cargo pants, and a big, thick, nylon belt. If my day’s activities involved going to battle, I was dressed for the occasion. However, if talking to woman was on the agenda…well let’s just say they weren’t digging it.

BRAVO’S FASHION TIP #3:

While your clothing should help convey your interests and career, they shouldn’t be totally based off these things. The key is being able to maintain your identity and interest without compromising a look that is in style and aesthetically pleasing. Find out which clothes are cool by browsing through magazines like GQ or Esquire to find out what stores carry the stylish brands, then go find clothes in those stores that you like. In order to begin improving my look, I asked some females for fashion advice. It turns out women love talking about this stuff…a few of them even volunteered to help me shop! One common suggestion they all gave me was that I should buy some new shoes. Women love shoes. They take a lot of time choosing the shoes that they wear and they look for guys who do the same. Unfortunately, this went in one ear and out the other, I LIKED my boots! It wasn’t until a few years later I realized I should have listened…

BRAVO’S FASHION TIP #4:

Are you still wearing the same lame, beat up pair of sneakers you had 3 years ago? If so, consider this as the first item you replace when shopping for your new wardrobe. Even though I put up some resistance here, I did do a few things right away that got me on the proper path to my new look.

BRAVO’S FASHION TIP #5:

The first thing I did was stop getting an eight dollar haircut where the lady just used an electric trimmer. It is worth it to go to a nicer place where they take their time on each customer, giving you a haircut that is customized for you. I also started to grow some facial hair, for a week it didn’t look so good, but once it grew in, the compliments began rolling in and I knew I was on to something!

The complements made me want to take this further. I started to look around at cool T-shirts, lost my ancient pair of jeans from the nineties, and picked up a few accessories. My old definition of accessorizing was carrying a flashlight and pocket knife (always be prepared, right?) Now I was doing it with a cool necklace, a few rings, and a leather bracelet. Once again the compliments from girls kept rolling in and growing in numbers. I may have thought accessorizing was lame in the past, but the compliments were the part that got me over it. When the ladies love it, it’s all good in my book!

BRAVO’S  FASHION TIP #6:

Having accessories is a sure fire way to boost the coolness factor of any outfit. Consider watches, necklaces, bracelets, rings, wrist bands, ties, scarves, wallet chains, and any other jewelry or fun extra you can think of. Experiment to see which ones you enjoy and which fit your new look.

Once you start to get into this stuff, you’ll develop your own fashion sense as your own personal style grows and evolves. I started buying shirts I would never have purchased before; my combat boots were replaced by pointy leather Italian shoes – with a matching leather belt taking over for the tactical belt. The last thing I will mention, and the last item of clothing I changed, was my underwear…

BRAVO’S  FASHION TIP #7:

Hanes tighty whiteys three pack for nine bucks is cool when you are in school, but we are men now. I got a few pairs of Calvin Klein briefs and trunks, and as soon as the ladies started seeing them, the comments started rolling in. Once again…all the proof I needed! My drawer is now loaded with them.If you’re getting unsolicited, positive feedback on your looks from beautiful women, then you’re on the right track. Otherwise, take an honest look in the mirror and take stock in what your look tells women. It will take a little bit of work to transform yourself, but when you do, you will look in the mirror and see a pretty cool looking guy staring back at you. And, so will the beautiful women that will love the new you.