One of most misunderstood terms in Pick Up is
I see it all the time online (my forum included) and then after I read the post I am left wondering where the shit test was, or even worse, reading something where the girl is making it clear as day that she is NOT interested in the guy but he takes it as a shit test(maybe because she was giving him “shit” when she told him to fuck off??)
So to get us both on the same page, think of a SHIT TEST as a CONGRUENCY TEST.
She is seeing if you are CONGRUENT with the confident vibe you are putting out there, if you really are the confident guy who (unlike most guys in there) had the balls to approach her, and she is seeing if you are man enough….to handle a woman like her.
If you are confident and congruent with what you are spitting, and not just using a few canned lines you got out of a book, it can actually be pretty easy to deal with.
NOTICE that I didn’t say “pass”.
I am not there to PASS her tests, I am talking to her to see if SHE is cool enough for ME. (part of my whole Alpha Male mindset 🙂 )
So just like your job or any hobby you have, if someone asks you a few follow up questions you should be able to respond pretty easily to almost anything they say….because you have legit experience in that area and it is one with you.
Before I became “Bravo” the 2 ways I had to deal with this the most was with magic and my tactical background.
With the gun, knife, tactical teaching stuff- every guy who has served, studied martial arts, or was just into it would want to know HOW I got into it and who I had worked with. There are so many posers in this field, that guys still come up to me at PUA events and will resume check me.
-which I am 100% fine with….because I am congruent 🙂
The BIG area that this really came up with is with magic.
I was really into magic as a kid…but then one day some guys in school said it was dumb, so I stopped doing it. I was still REALLY into it, watched every special on TV there was, and would even do a few illusions during lunch breaks in my gun classes…to relax the vibe. But it wasn’t until I got into self help that I realized a life where I avoided things that I am into because someone that I don’t care about tells me they are lame= a shitty life. So I got back into, REALLY back into it, got pretty fucking good and for a long time magic was one of my PUA crutches. I would carry a few decks of cards on me at all times! But not because I always wanted to be ready, but because if I didn’t have them I wouldn’t be able to DHV, so wouldn’t be able to approach…oh man. It was however, AMAZING at helping me get good at dealing with people’s shit tests. Once you are able to control a large group, deal with guys giving you shit and trying to ruin it, deal with the drunk girl trying to take all of the attention= talking to a few girls is easy son!
So when I came across this vid, it instantly brought me back to some of the shit I had to deal with.
It’s for some new movie about stage magicians, the preview looked dumb, the kid in the video always gets me confused with the nerdy kid from Arrested Development, and to make it worse- the chick in the vid fucks up his shit and didn’t play along
AFTER SHE WAS THE ONE WHO ASKED HIM TO PERFORM
Now one thing I loved about this vid is the way he gave her the business right back. At the end when he really zings her with how he doesn’t want to find her, she even laughs at the end when she says he is “such a jerk”.
She doesn’t REALLY think he is a jerk!
-and even if she does, I would rather a woman have AN emotional reaction when interacting with me than NO reaction, it’s easier to turn a negative into a positive than a DEAD ZONE into a positive.
She clearly has an attitude….. which some guys love, and from my years of experience have a feeling that if a guy couldn’t handle a few of her smart ass remarks there would be ZERO chance she would ever become attracted to him.
Which this leads into something I teach called DEALING WITH RESISTANCE.
I teach there are 3 ways to deal with resistance, and this vid was a great example of 1 of the ways
FORCE vs FORCE
Think about Mike Tyson throwing a punch at your head. Even if you have done some boxing and have a good block, his punch is going to blast right thru you and still do damage.
-less than optimal response
Now think of a 5 year old kid throwing the exact same punch and you block exactly the same. You are going to avoid any damage AND also very likely, the kid is going to hurt their arm/fist on you.
In one instance it was the wrong move, and the other it worked out great. It all depends on who had the stronger force, and they ended up “winning”.
“those jeans are kind of gay”
“no they aren’t they are actually really cool”
“you walk around with a knife in your pocket”
“ya, it’s a great tool and I use it all the time”
See how it can be a fine line between qualifying, just matter of factly responding or like the punch a GREAT response?
One issue, like in the video, is that it is harder to LEAD the story somewhere else…you are just kind of left hanging with the person who’s frame/force was stronger to move on, which once you are good you can start thinking a few steps ahead of others. Also when dealing with people who out rank you (boss, cops, etc.), you maybe don’t want to do this because even if you “win” they can still trump you and fire you, or arrest you.
Dealing with force by meeting with force is definitely a way to deal with resistance…..but some times not the BEST way.
Especially for a guy who is working on improving his PUA skills, it can quickly turn into a pissing match.
If this resonates with any of you, let me know in the comments and I can make this a 3 part-er and cover the next 2 ways.